


Here we are in the... past?

by PineappleandBlueberries1967



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Fluff, Gen, Pain, SUF spoilers, Spoilers, Steven Universe Future, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, Time Travel, Trauma, but thanks for reading them, character death is very loose, come back, hijinks ensue, i don't know how far i'll get into this but i have Plans, i don't need any of these tags, i have mixed feelings about rose, i miss it already, if you haven't seen suf yet don't read, like major spoilers, pink why, still crying, very angsty hijinks, writing to avoid the pain, yeah this is just
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23370262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PineappleandBlueberries1967/pseuds/PineappleandBlueberries1967
Summary: Steven didn't mean to shatter Jasper, really! He... he never wanted this. He just wants another chance.And that's exactly what he gets. But it's not exactly what he pictured...
Relationships: Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Lars Barriga/Sadie Miller/Shep, Pink Diamond's Pearl/Spinel (Steven Universe), Ruby/Sapphire (Steven Universe)
Comments: 300
Kudos: 913





	1. There he goes

**Author's Note:**

> I miss Steven Universe even though it's only been like 2 days so I'm writing a fanfic to get rid of the pain. Enjoy me making Steven suffer so I don't have to!

Pink. He was still Pink. Even as he fell to the ground at an alarming pace. He couldn’t make the Pink go away, he couldn’t stop the buzzing in his head. He couldn’t stop laughing. The shields had vanished before he’d landed on the ground, and he ran towards the spot that Jasper had stood. He knelt in the mud searching desperately for a sign of her gem. And he found it. Or rather, he found a piece. Lighting crashed from above him as his hands dove into the earth, clutching a part of the broken gem. His laughter had evolved into sobbing, his vision blurred by the rain and his tears. He searched for more pieces in desperation, clutching them all in his hand. The remains of Jasper. He’d done this to her. He’d shattered her. He was a monster. He curled up into the ground, his body still glowing a luminous pink. He wanted to take this back. He couldn’t live with this. He wanted to try again. He wanted… He wanted a second chance. But no second chance would ever come. He was stuck in the present, yearning for the past. He sobbed over the shards of Jasper’s gem and wished for a second chance. Lighting struck overhead. And then Steven Universe woke up.

Steven gasped for breath, his heart racing in his chest. He looked around, eyes flickering over every surface. His body was still glowing pink, but it slowly faded away into obscurity once more. At least there was one problem solved. He thought about where he was, he felt the sheets above him, a warm and comforting presence. He was in bed. Asleep. Steven smiled in relief, pinpricks of tears falling from his eyes. Of course. It was only a dream, he didn’t hurt Jasper. It was ok. Everything was ok. Steven was fine. He was, really. He sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of his bed. He only had one purpose. To see how Jasper was doing. He needed to know how she was. It was only as he searched for his clothes that he finally had the sense that something was off.

He looked around his room, and at the house below him, and he was filled with the complete certainty that this… Was wrong. His room looked different, everything was in a different place and he could clearly see into the open spaced house. There was a barstool instead of a table, the shelves were moved and he could only see toys and games lining them, instead of the memorabilia that he knew should be there. The biggest difference, however, was the portrait of Rose Quartz hanging over the doorway. Like it had never moved. Like she belonged there. He stared at the photo for a long time, long enough for his body to start glowing again. He had to shake it off, forcing himself to turn away from the portrait. What was going on? He didn’t know, but he didn’t like it. He needed to see the gems. He checked the clock. Seeming as how it was nearly 10am, they should be at Little Homeworld.

He once again started looking for his clothes. All he could find were his old shirts and jeans that were too small for him to wear. He couldn’t find a single shirt that fit or his jacket anywhere, although he supposed that with the strange placement of everything in the house, it made sense. Fashion wasn’t the priority here anyway, so he quickly changed into the red star shirt and his blue jeans. The shirt was too short for him, fitting more like a crop-top but it was manageable. The jeans were too tight of course, so he’d rolled them up to resemble shorts instead. It wasn’t what he was used to, but it was better than nothing. He’d dug around the storage cabinet, eventually coming across an old pair of his dads shoes. They were a little big for him, but it was better than trying to squash his feet into an incredibly small pair of sandals. He’d also found an old green jacket, and while it was ratty and big, the weight felt comfortable on him. He realised that he probably looked extremely strange, but he didn’t care. He needed to find out why his house looked so different. Was it some weird prank Peridot had pulled on him? He doubted that she’d go so far for something like this.

Steven walked onto the warp pad and thought about his destination. Nothing happened. He tried again, but to no avail. Was it him? He thought about going to the Strawberry Fields, and the warp teleported him there instantly. He warped back to his house in confusion. Maybe there was something wrong with the Little Homeworld warp? He kept the keys to then Dondai in his jacket, which he couldn’t find, which meant his only other option was to walk there. He sighed in annoyance and left the beach house. At least the beach looked the same, that he could always count on. Out of curiosity, he turned and looked at the house, only to take a step back at what he saw. It wasn’t just the interior that was different, the exterior was too. It looked exactly how it used to be before Bismuth had rebuilt it. No second story, no greenhouse, no nothing. There was no way this was just a prank. Something else was going on here. He needed to find the gems, and fast.

Walking through town felt wrong. Everything felt wrong. The board-walk should be accompanied by different gems of all kinds, but he couldn’t see anyone. He kept noticing all of these subtle changes around. Every second he grew more and more uneasy. He wanted to call the gems, or to call Connie, but he hadn’t been able to find his phone either. Hopefully, when he found the gems, they could help him figure out what was wrong. He took a turn down the street and paused. This was way bigger than he thought. By now, he should be able to see the spinning towers of Little Homeworld, but there was nothing. Just an empty field. He suddenly had a very, very bad feeling. Steven turned around, and ran towards the Big Donut. He really hoped that he was wrong, that everything was fine, but the sinking sensation in his stomach told him that wasn’t true. He ran into the shop, the door almost flying off from the strength of the push. He looked around. He noticed three things that were wrong. So incredibly wrong.

Sadie was stood behind the counter, looking bored and tired. She’d looked up when Steven entered, her eyes widening in surprise. She wasn’t supposed to be there. She was supposed to be touring with Shep, taking on the world with their band. Next to her was Lars. But it wasn’t Lars. He looked… Normal. His hair was a dull orange instead of the bright pink he was used to, as was his skin, and his scar wasn’t present either. This was Lars, but he was alive. Really, truly alive. Sadie didn’t have her scar either, and it made Steven pause. The third thing he noticed was a small, empty freezer. The top of it resembled a cookie cat, smiling at him with blank eyes. Mocking him. Steven’s heart sunk, and he dropped to the floor, curling into himself. He barely noticed his skin turn pink, or Sadie rushing towards him. What happened with Jasper… It hadn’t been a dream. He was somewhere else completely. He was in the past.


	2. Rejuvenated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If everything is wrong, then why does it feel so right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy Stevo, you're in trouble

Disjointed. That’s how he felt when he walked through the door. It was like he was viewing everything from outside of his own body. He wasn’t there, not really. It was everything, he realised. Everything was wrong. The way the gems held themselves, the way they fought, the way they were dressed. It was all wrong. For a second, he wasn’t at the door. He was standing by the table, his dad by his side, as he watched the people he love reform into mindless, blank versions of themselves. Somehow, this was worse. This was still his family, but they hadn’t had a chance to grow yet. This was his family when they still saw him as a kid. A spindly green creature turned to him, it’s mouth foaming with green acid. A part of him mourned for Nephrite and her crew. At this point, they were still the hurt, afraid monsters that the gems had to fight. He summoned his shield on instinct, letting the acid hit it at full force. The gems turned to him and stared. Specifically, at his shield. He quickly dropped the shield, but he knew the damage was done. Garnet took care of the last monster, staring straight at Steven. The others were too, with a mix of shock and wonder. Steven had to force himself to look away.

“Hey guys. How you doing?” Steven said casually. Amethyst dropped her whip. Pearl stood on the warp pad, shocked still. Garnet stared at him, adjusting her glasses. He knew that meant she was checking her future vision, but it still made him uncomfortable. What if she saw what he’d done? What if she saw what he’d become?

“Steven! When did you get all big?” Amethyst, was of course, the first person to speak. She ran over, staring up at him. He realised he was faced with a choice. He could tell them the truth- that he’d travelled from the future- but… He knew these guys. Pearl could fall apart at any time, Amethyst couldn’t handle this, and Garnet was too passive to really understand. Steven didn’t know how long he’d be here though. If he lied, he might have to keep that lie up for a long time. He didn’t want to do that. He just had to hope he would return to the future on his own. His mind flashed to the broken remains of Jasper’s gem. Did he really want to return to the future?

He was struck with a revelation. He was at the very beginning. Before Peridot, before Lapis, before Homeworld and the diamonds. He could try again. He had a chance to go back and do everything right this time. He could help the gems heal faster, he could dismantle the empire easier, he had a purpose again. But this time, he could actually be useful. He hadn’t lost his powers, he knew everything that would happen. He had a cheat guide to the future. He smiled, realising this. Steven could fix everything. He would.

“Oh yeah, I had a growth spurt. Cool, right?” He lied. He felt bad for lying to the gems, but he knew it was better this way. Plus, he didn’t want to worry them, not when he knew that he could make things better.

He needed a list, of all of the things he wanted to change. He knew at some point he’d have to confront the diamonds, but they needed to collect all of the gem monsters first, it’s be easier if everyone was in the same place. He didn’t know how many there were exactly, or where to find them all, but he had a vague idea of how to combat it. He’d need to release Lapis from the mirror again, but hopefully he could convince her to stay this time. Actually… He should let her go to Homeworld. It’d be hard to let her go, and he knew it’d bring trouble, but Peridot was an important member of their team, so he needed to help her again. Maybe… Maybe he could even help Jasper. Orange shards danced in his mind, and he shook the thoughts away. It’d be different this time. He wouldn’t hurt her. He wouldn’t hurt anyone. He needed to release Bismuth from her bubble, but to do that he’d need to find Lion again. He thought about Connie. If she was anything like the gems, she’d still be the shy girl on the beach. Should he just leave her alone? That way she wouldn’t have to go through all the pain and hard times with him. His heart ached at the thought. Maybe it was selfish, but he wanted Connie to be his friend. Then again, this Connie wasn’t his Connie. She’d be four years younger than him. It would be awkward to try and befriend her like that. He wanted his Connie. He sighed, he’d have to think about that later. What else could he do? He could rescue Spinel from the garden, maybe help her and give her a home in the temple. He also needed the gems to know about Pink Diamond. He knew that Pearl couldn’t tell him, and it took her a lot of work to get up to the point where she felt she finally could show him the truth, however, he couldn’t just straight up say he knew. He’d need to work on that too. Semi-confident with his list, he brought himself back to the present.

Steven realised the gems were talking. He had no idea what he’d missed while he was working on his list. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Could you say that again? Sorry, I’m still kinda tired.” He asked.

“You summoned a shield! Steven, it was beautiful.” Pearl repeated. She still looked in awe and proud, with nostalgia following. He didn’t need to look at her to know she was looking at the portrait of his mom. He realised that in this point of time, Steven hadn’t accessed any of his abilities. It would be hard to explain that, but hopefully he could make up something that was believable.

“Aw man, you guys saw that?” He said, sighing. He looked down at the ground.

“I’ve been practising summoning it in secret. I wanted to wait until it was perfect!” The gems were silent for a moment, before they all smiled at him approvingly.

“You did a very good job Steven.” Garnet congratulated.

“It was beautiful!” Pearl added.

“Yeah man, way to go!” Amethyst held out her hand for a high five, which Steven completed with a smile. One thing he’d have to work on was how he acted. He was 17, but the gems all thought he was still the immature, childish and impulsive 13 year old version of himself. He wanted the gems to see him how he was today, but he knew it’d have to be a slow process.

That done, Steven found himself relaxing for the first time since he’d woken up. He’d been given another chance, and the thought made him smile. He could do better. He could finally be better. Suddenly, he gasped and ran to the freezer. He felt real excitement opening the door, looking at the packets and packets of Cookie Cats. It’d been years since he’d last had one of these! He thought back to one of his dreams, where the temple loomed over him, face replaced with a smiling Cookie Cat. Had he somehow predicted this happening? He knew that sometimes his dreams could channel other people and gems and foreshadow future events, so it was possible. Although he may not like sugary treats as much as he used to, he always had a special place in his heart for Cookie Cats. He picked one out of the freezer.

“Where did these come from? I heard they’d stopped selling them!” He already knew, of course, but he had to pretend otherwise. It was just one of the many lies he had to tell now. Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl walked over.

“Yes, well we heard that too, so we went to the store to get you some!” Pearl said with a smile.

“Yeah, we stole a whole bunch!” Amethyst added, jumping up onto the breakfast bar. Pearl groaned.

“I went back and paid for them.” Steven had to hide his wince. He’d almost forgotten how much Pearl and Amethyst used to bicker, he’d have to help them get along better.

“It was all my idea.” Garnet said, proudly. Steven snickered and unwrapped his ice cream. It was… Really nice, to just spend time with the gems again. Even if it wasn’t the gems he knew yet, they were still his family, and he’d missed this. He bit into the ice-cream and almost started tearing up. It was just as delicious as he remembered. He forced back his tears and took another bite. The gems would think he was crazy if he started crying over ice-cream. Although, he used to get emotional over everything, so maybe not.

Right after he took the last bite, the temple shook. A large shadow fell over the windows as a large creature crawled up the side of the house. Immediately the gems tensed, summoning their weapons. Steven did the same, summoning his shield.

“Steven, stay here.” Garnet ordered. He scoffed. There was no way he was doing that. One thing he wanted to get across as soon as possible was that he could take care of himself. The gems ran out of the house, with Steven following them all. Immediately they were on the case, fighting the corrupted form of Nephrite. Steven stood on the balcony. The last time they’d defeated Nephrite, it was by using electricity. Since the Cookie Cat freezer was still in the Big Donut and unharmed, he didn’t have the same advantage. He didn’t want the gems to see how much damage he could do by himself, knowing it would raise a lot of questions. However, they already knew he could summon his shield, so he could support them.

He ran down the stairs and the cliff and across the beach, to where the gems were hiding behind one of the many stone hands that decorated it.

“Steven’s shield would be really useful right about now!” Amethyst called. He ran to them, throwing a shield in front of the hand. The gems stepped back and turned to him. He smiled.

“Good thing I’m here then! You guys fight that thing, I’ll keep you safe ok?” Steven said. The gems looked at him, and then at the large shield still protecting the hand. They nodded and jumped out from behind it, going in separate directions. Steven watched from the sidelines, throwing a shield or two whenever the gems needed one, but mainly just watching and waiting. Eventually they were able to poof Nephrite, it’s body exploding into pink clouds. Garnet caught the gem and bubbled it away. Amethyst and Pearl ran over to him. Amethyst pulled him into a hug, easily lifting him into the air.

“Yo, that was so awesome!” She cheered. Pearl looked extremely proud of him as well, her hands clasped together.

“You did very well Steven!” She praised. Steven smiled at the compliments. He really had missed this, just him and the gems, fighting off simple threats together as a team. A small part of him wished that it stayed like this. A small part of him didn’t want to go back to the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: Man, I can't believe I'm stuck in the past  
> Steven: : D  
> Steven: I'm sad, really... Just on the inside


	3. Dear Old Dad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven confronts his dad for the first time since they fought, but of course, he doesn't remember anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably say upfront- this will Not be a complete retelling of the show, just the episodes and moments that I think are the most important. I still don't have an exact layout of how things will go down, but I know trying to retell Every episode would kill me

The next morning, the first thing that Steven had done was head to the Big Donut. He walked in with a bright smile, walking up to the counter. A brief look in the store told him that the Cookie Cat freezer was still there, which was good. It was what he came for. Well, that and some donuts.

“Hey Sadie!” He greeted. It was only when he looked at her did he see her worried expression. Right. The last time he’d been here, he’d had a slight breakdown and ran out of the store without explanation.

“Oh hey, it’s you! Are you ok Sir?” She asked, looking over him. Sir? It clicked in his mind. Steven did look a lot different he supposed.

“Oh! It’s me, Steven! I just had a growth spurt.” He explained. Lars looked up from the counter in disbelief.

“Wait what?” He said, having a closer look. Steven smiled awkwardly and laughed.

“Yeah, It’s still me. Could I have my regular please?” He asked. He knew he wasn’t putting as much energy into it as he should be, but it was just his friends. He didn’t want to be so high energy all the time, if he could avoid it, he would.

“What is your regular?” She asked in suspicion, her eyes squinting at him. Steven sighed and recounted his regular order. It hadn’t changed in years, and although he didn’t come too often any-more, he still ordered the same thing. Apparently, his answer satisfied Sadie.

“Sorry for the question, I just didn’t recognise you Steven!” She apologised. He put up his hands.

“Don’t worry, I totally get it.” Luckily, it seemed that his change in appearance had distracted her enough for her to forget about her previous line of questioning. He really didn’t want to explain himself to her. She handed him his bag of Donuts.

“By the way, am I alright to take the freezer too?” He gestured to the Cookie Cat freezer, which was slowly collecting dust on the counter. Sadie shrugged.

“Sure.” She allowed. Steven thanked her and picked up the freezer, carrying it carefully under his arm.

He walked back towards the temple, only to freeze as he saw a giant red ball floating in the sky. He’d completely forgotten about the Red Eye! He’d spent the previous night re-collecting as many experiences from his childhood as he could, but he must’ve forgotten about this. Steven glowed pink and ran back to the temple. One good thing about training with Jasper was that he had much better control over his powers, and as long as he didn’t think about how that training had ended, he’d be ok! He put his donuts and the freezer on the living room table, right as time returned to normal. He ran towards the gems at a normal pace, making a big show of him huffing and puffing as he arrived.

“What’s that thing in the sky?” He asked. He already knew, of course, but he needed Pearl to tell him about the light cannon so that he could go get it.

“It’s a red eye.” Pearl said, fear present in her voice.

“What’s it doing here?” He continued. Pearl looked back up at the sky.

“It’s very dangerous, if it lands here it could destroy the city!” She said. Steven bit his tongue. She’d avoided the question. He knew that meant she wasn’t sure. Steven knew that the red eye was dangerous, but that was because he knew what it was. It was scanning the earth for signs of gem life, and if it found Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl then Homeworld would know they were still alive. If the gems would just ask questions first before they ran straight in, things would be so much better.

“So how do we destroy it?” Steven prompted, trying to sound afraid. It was hard to make himself sound afraid when he had the situation under control, but he just had to make it believable for the gems.

“Well, your mother had a laser light cannon that we could use to destroy the ship but…. It’s gone now.” Pearl answered. Steven smiled. That was exactly what he was looking for.

“Is it kind of a pale pink and looks like a rose?” He asked. Pearl turned to him.

“Yes… How did you know?” She asked. Steven smiled.

“I know where it is!” He said with a grin. His smile faded. He did know where it was. It was in his Dad’s old storage shed. He’d been here for a few days, but he’d yet to make contact with his dad. Even though, in this time, Steven and his dad were close, Steven’s argument with his dad was still fresh in his mind. He’d been putting off seeing him, but he’d always known he couldn’t do that forever. He didn’t want to have to explain his sudden change in emotions to Pearl, so instead he turned and ran for his dads car wash.

He’d realised on his way over that he didn’t really need his dad, after all he could just break the lock to the garage and pull the light cannon to the beach but… He knew the code was still in place, and he had no way of explaining to the gems how he knew how to activate it. It was annoying, having to play by the rules, to act like he didn’t know the things he did, but this was for their own good. He was helping them this way. He reluctantly stopped by his dads van, staring at it. He knew he had to keep moving, they were on a time limit after all but.. He was still reluctant to talk to his dad. He shook his negative thoughts away. It was fine, his dad didn’t remember anything, they weren’t fighting, they were still close as always. Everything was ok. He pulled open the back door of the van, letting the sunlight stream in. His dad groaned as it made contact with his eyes and slowly sat up.

“Go away sunshine.” He muttered sleepily.

“Dad, it’s me!” Steven said, barely keeping the annoyance out of his voice. He knew how irresponsible his dad used to be, but this was serious. Then again, Steven knew his dad didn’t really liked to be involved with magic. Maybe this time, he could keep his dad further away from the chaos? Let him live a normal life? An idea struck him. If he could get his dad to say his phrase in the warehouse, then he could ‘connect’ the pieces and take the light cannon back without his dad joining him! His dad crawled out of the van, looking up at his son.

“Steven? Did you have a growth spurt?” He asked. He looked down. Right. He kept forgetting that part.

“Now isn’t the time, dad can you drive me to your storage space?” Steven responded. He gestured to the red eye floating ominously in the sky. His dad’s eyes widened, realising that whatever was happening was important, and quickly ran to the front of the van.

Steven got out at the storage shed, waiting anxiously for his dad to unlock it. He’d grabbed a line of rope so that he could haul the light cannon out of the storage shed, and a torch so that he could see where he was going. Finally, it was open. Steven had to crouch through a small opening and worm his way through piles and piles of junk. Mentally, he added cleaning out the storage shed to his list, although this time, he’d go to Pearl first. He definitely didn’t want a repeat of last time. His dad seemed oddly quiet. While Steven couldn’t remember exactly what had happened the last time he’d brought out the laser light cannon, he knew that him and his dad had talked. Steven wanted to start a conversation, but he didn’t know how. Underneath his foot, he heard the quiet sound of glass breaking. He lifted his foot to spot a broken photo frame, containing a photo of his mom and dad. Steven winced.

“Sorry dad! I broke a photo frame.” Steven yelled. While it wasn’t exactly the best way to start a conversation, at least it was something.

“That’s ok, son! If ever pork-chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs!” His dad answered. Steven smiled. Perfect! To his left, he could see the light cannon glow a soft pink. He quickly ran towards it, tying the rope around the centre.

“Ok, I found it!” He said.

With help from the van, they’d managed to haul the light cannon out of the storage shed. Steven looked at the red eye and smiled slightly. Last time, he’d barely made it in time to stop the red eye, but this time he’d been a lot faster. If he was lucky, none of the pieces would even hit Beach City!

“How are we going to get it to the beach?” His dad asked. A small red wagon rolled by.

“Don’t worry dad, I can take it there.” Steven answered. He picked up the cannon and quickly placed a shield in the bottom of the wagon. That way, the shield would take most of the weight and the wagon wouldn’t break. He placed the cannon inside the wagon and grabbed the end. Satisfied, he turned to his dad. He was staring at him with wide eyes. Steven cursed silently. Right, he was still just a weak kid.

“I guess they call it a light cannon for good reason.” Steven explained, chuckling. Of course, to human standards, the cannon would weigh a lot, but he barely even strained. At least it looked like his dad bough the lie.

“Ok, I’ve got to get this over to the beach, I’ll see you later dad.”

“Don’t you want a lift?” He gestured to his van in confusion.

“No, I’ll be ok on my own.” Steven denied. He began to pull the wagon away.

A hand landed on his shoulder, and Steven barely suppressed a flinch.

“Wait, Steven.” He turned around to face his dad, who was looking at him in concern.

“Is everything ok bud? You seem… Different.” Steven looked away, cursing silently. Of course, he hadn’t been trying hard enough, and now his dad thought something was wrong. Of course, he always screwed something up. Steven slapped on a wide smile.

“I’m fine dad, I’m just worried about the gems! Once the red eye is gone, everything will be ok.” He reassured. His dad smiled back, a little unsure.

“If you say so buddy.” With that, Steven turned an ran towards the beach, dragging the wagon behind him.

The gems saw him coming. He pulled the cannon onto the beach, aiming towards the red eye. Pearl gasped.

“I can’t believe he really had it!” Pearl commented. Garnet and Amethyst ran towards him.

“That’s great! Now how do we activate it?” Amethyst asked, panic in her voice. Steven stood silently by the side. He knew, of course, but he needed to wait for the right moment.

“I- I don’t know! It was Rose’s cannon!” Pearl stuttered, beginning to panic. Amethyst pulled out her hair.

“What you don’t know?” She asked in response.

“I think it was activated by a phrase, but I can’t remember what it was!” Pearl said. Steven leapt into action.

“Wait! I think I know it!” He said. The gems turned to him.

“If every pork-chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.” Steven recited. On cue, the cannon lit up, blossoming like a flower as a bright light began to build up inside. It hit the sand, and Steven had to pull it back towards the eye. In the corner of his eye, he could see the other gems surrounding the cannon to help. He relaxed slightly, so that they felt like they were lifting the cannon more. He could lift it on it’s own, but that’d be too suspicious.

The light shot out from the cannon, hitting the red eye right into the centre and blowing it up in a ray of beautiful light. As he predicted, most of the pieces of the machine burned up in the atmosphere, with only a few pieces crashing into the ocean. When it was over, Steven gently dropped the cannon to the ground.

“How did you know the phrase?” Pearl asked.

“When I was trying to find it in my dads storage shed, he said that and the cannon lit up. I figured if I said it again it’d activate.” Steven explained.

“That was very quick thinking Steven!” Pearl congratulated. Steven smiled brightly, turning to look at the setting sun. He was so busy complimenting his job well done to notice the gems cast worried glances towards each-other. For the first time in a while, Steven was finally helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: Haha hey dad, just had a growth spurt and became 5 times more emotionally distant overnight!<  
> Greg: ,,, Ait  
> The gems: Sounds fake but ok
> 
> Also!! Someone made some incredible art for my fanfic!! https://solsticedraws.tumblr.com/post/613988165514117120/made-some-fanart-for-introvertedissues-fanfic  
> (I don't know how to do the Link thing but please go check it out and give her some love!!!)
> 
> (@Solcisedraws on tumblr)


	4. Adaptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven has mail that he doesn't remember ordering... What could it possibly be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How much can I change while still kind of following the basic set-up for an important moment later on?? Let's find out!

A knock on the door cut through the silence of the house. Steven looked towards the door curiously. He could see the outline of Jamie sanding there, holding a package. He still wasn’t used to seeing the differences in the people he knew. In his time, Jamie had quit his job as a mail-man to pursue his dream of acting and it was going rather well. But in this time, he hadn’t even started acting yet. He didn’t even want to think about the other changes. Steven could barely stand to visit the Big Donut any-more. Seeing Lars so immature and desperate of approval made his heart ache. He missed the version of Lars that was his friend. He missed a lot of things about the future, as he discovered. Especially Connie. He stood up and walked to the front door. He couldn’t think about that kind of stuff now. He was happy here.

Instead, his eyes went to the package. Steven hadn’t remembered ordering anything, but then again, he’d only been here for a week. Maybe some past version of himself had ordered something? If that was so, what had happened to the young him? Had he been swapped with Steven, transported to the future? Steven barely surprised a smile at that. He was sure if that were the case then the gems were having a lot of fun. He remembered how troublesome he’d been as a child. He’d signed Jamie’s screen and taken the package with a simple thanks, not bothering to make small talk.

“What’s in the box?” Amethyst asked. Steven jumped, barely suppressing the pink that threatened to taint his skin. He span around to see the gems waiting by the warp pad. He had no idea how long they’d been stood there. He quickly swapped out his surprise for happiness and looked towards them.

“Hey guys! I’m not sure.” He greeted. He placed the package onto the table and carefully opened the box. Amethyst jumped onto the table and leaned over the box, blocking his view of what was inside.

“A giant cheeseburger? Score!” Amethyst yelled. She picked the bag out of the box and lifted it to her mouth. Thinking fast, Steven pulled it away, holding it to his chest protectively.

“It’s not food!” He said, glaring at Amethyst. She huffed and looked away.

“It’s not?” Pearl asked. She walked forward and looked closer at the bag.

“It certainly looks like a cheeseburger.” She poked the bag. Steven pulled it closer to him. Even though he never used his cheeseburger backpack any-more, he still had fond memories attached to it. Hopefully, him wearing it would help sell his act more. He missed his satchel, but it wouldn’t hurt to use his old backpack for a while.

“It’s a backpack, see?” He unzipped one of the pouches to showcase it’s ability. The gems simply blinked.

“Why would you need a backpack shaped like food?” Amethyst asked in confusion. He opened his mouth to answer, but he didn’t really have one. At the time, he’d thought this was the coolest backpack in the world, but he knew now how unnecessary it was. So instead of replying, he simply slipped it on. Amethyst snickered.

“I think it’s a little too small on you dude.” She commented. Steven deflated. While part of the reason he’d stopped wearing his cheeseburger backpack was because he’d matured, another part was that he’d simply outgrown the backpack. He knew from experience that no fiddling with the straps would make the backpack his size.

It was at times like this when his satchel would come in handy. Wait… His satchel! That was it!

“I have an idea!” He took the backpack off and adjusted the left strap as far as it would go. Then he ran into the kitchen, returning with a pair of scissors. Pearl immediately stepped forward, looking at the scissors worryingly.

“Relax Pearl, I’m only using them to cut this strap off! I am s… thirteen you know!” He corrected at the last second. Pearl didn’t seem to notice his slip up, still staring at the scissors in his hands. Carefully, Steven cut the right strap from the backpack and returned the scissors to their rightful place. That done, he returned to the living room. He placed the remaining strap over his shoulder, letting the bag hang at his side. He smiled at his new invention.

“Cheeseburger backpack, becomes cheeseburger satchel!” He showed the bag to the gems proudly. It was silly, how much joy he got from simply doing one thing right. To prove to himself that he wasn’t a screw-up. The cookie cat freezer was unbroken and now lived on the side next to the freezer, filled to the brim with uneaten cookie cats. It was just one of the signs that things were changing. Steven really was making a difference here, he was improving things.

Pearl smiled at him.

“That’s great Steven! Maybe you could use it to carry something for our next mission.” Pearl summoned a small gem statue from her gem. Steven blinked.

“You’ll… Just let me tag along that easily?” He asked. He remembered having to beg and plead for the gems to take him on missions, seeing as how they still saw him as a child.

“You’ve shown a recent level of maturity that we never expected to see. We think you’re ready.” Garnet said. Steven’s eyes widened. He forced himself to smile, but on the inside he was panicking. Did the gems have suspicions already? On the one hand, he wanted the gems to respect him and treat him like an adult, but on the other hand he knew it was too soon. He wasn’t supposed to be seen as mature and responsible until at least Peridot, and even then it was touch and go. To him, it was a clear sign that he hadn’t been trying hard enough. He’d need to work on it. He needed the gems to believe that he was still the Steven they knew and loved. He had to be perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: Man, it sucks that I have to use this old backpack :((  
> Steven: O yeah and also the gems are onto me and I'm not trying hard enough  
> Steven: Now let's go on a mission! : D
> 
> Also here's more incredible art of Steven with the cheeseburger satchel!
> 
> https://solsticedraws.tumblr.com/post/614168876881690624/nother-thing-for-introvertedissues-hope-you
> 
> @Solicedraws on tumblr! Check her out ya'll she's amazing


	5. The Original Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven sets out to undo his first mistake on a mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh B o y We're getting there fellas

Steven had been so focused on his improvised satchel that he hadn’t even noticed what statue Pearl was holding in her hands. It was the statue for the Luna Sea Spire. He couldn’t forget that statue if he tried. Not only because it permanently lived on one of his shelves, but because it was one of his first big failures as part of the team. Whenever he looked at it, all he could picture was the majestic tower crumbling beneath his feet. But now, when he looked at it, he was filled with hope. This was it. His chance to really change things. Sure, he’d already made some small changes- he’d been helpful enough for the gems to invite him on this mission instead of him pleading them to let him join. Plus, he’d rescued the Cookie Cat freezer and still had a hefty supply of the tasty treats. He supposed that changing his backpack into a rucksack was a change too, but none of it was important. It was these types of missions that really mattered, these were the ones where he could actually change something important. This time, he’d save the Sea Spire.

Pearl handed him the statue and he placed it into the top bun pocket before zipping it up.

“I’m just going to grab a few supplies, It’ll only take a minute.” Pearl sighed, but didn’t try to stop him. He opened the closet door and began to rifle through. Even to this day, the Sea Spire was one of his strongest memories. He remembered exactly how he failed and how he succeeded. He found a long sturdy rope, which he would use instead of tying a few sweaters together. He idly wondered if his floating powers would be able to combat the gravitational pull, but at the end of the day he knew he couldn’t use that anyway. He decided to leave the raft this time. He was confident that he could save the Spire, so the raft wouldn’t be needed. Plus, he had another idea of how they could cross the raging river, and it’d give him a good opportunity to show his capabilities to the gems in a subtle way. That done, he shut the closet and grabbed a few bagels from the kitchen. He was lucky that he didn’t really need to change much. He placed all of the items in the meat pocket before making sure his bag was secure and re-joining the gems.

“Ok, I’m ready!” He steps onto the warp pad, where the gems were waiting.

“Great! Let’s go!” Pearl said, barely hiding her aggravation. She activated the warp pad, sending the four of them to their destination.

“Do you remember how-” Pearl cut herself off as she looked at Steven. He floated passively in the warp stream, waiting for her to finish her sentence. Before she could, they arrived. Steven carefully stepped off of the warp pad, taking care with where he walked. He remembered how the floor had literally crumbled around him the last time he was here, but as long as he stayed away from the edges he should be alright. He stared up at the Lunar Sea Spire, clutching the strap of his satchel. It was just like he remembered. The exterior was falling apart, parts of the tower crumbling away and cashing into the whirlpool below. It stretched up into the sky, almost touching the sky. Dark crevices and cracks littered the walls, but it still glimmered in the evening sun brightly.

He could picture the whirlpool expanding and crashing into the pillar, knocking large blocks off of the tower as it slowly started to descend into the rippling water. He remembered the ground beneath him shaking as the tower began to crumble, sending him flying backwards and forwards. He remembered the fear and pain he felt, knowing that he’d come so close and failed. The unease of not knowing if he’d survive the mission. He could feel the sinking feeling crawl through his mouth and into his lungs. It was hard to breathe, and it was so dark around him. All he could feel was the crushing pressure of water surrounding him, trying to drag him further down as he desperately tried to reach the surface, until finally, finally…. Amethyst pushed past his shoulder and Steven snapped back into reality, taking a deep breath of air. His entire body was shaking as Steven begged himself to calm down, to will the anxiety away. He was grasping his satchel like it was his lifeline, and his entire vision was flooded with pink. The gems were up ahead, standing at the edge of a small gap. Amethyst turned back to him and he forced his feelings down, the pink glow fading as he slapped on a smile. He couldn’t afford to lose it now, he had to focus on the mission. It wouldn’t happen again, he could fix it, he was going to fix it. He kept repeating the phrase in his mind as he ran over to the gems, eventually calming down enough to think properly.

“What’s the hold up guys?” He asked loudly. He winced, realising how forced the cheer in his voice sounded. He really needed to relax, he couldn’t handle the situation if he let his past experience get in the way.

“There’s a gravitational vortex blocking us from crossing.” Garnet answered, as straight-forward as ever.

“Yeah we need to figure out a way around it!” Amethyst added. Steven went to the the front of the cliff.

“I have an idea!” He quickly unzipped his satchel and pulled out the rope he’d packed earlier. Last time he’d ran straight for it without warning the others. It had worked, but then again pearl had told him not to do it again. However, if he shared his idea, the gems might dismiss it as too dangerous anyway. He couldn’t risk being shut down so easily. He zipped up his bag again and then threw one end of the rope towards one of the many openings. It swung back to him and he grabbed the other end. With one end of the rope in each hand, he stepped backwards a few times before running and jumping off of the edge of the cliff. The gems called after him in concern, watching him jump. Just like last time, he felt the unrelenting pull of the whirlpool below. Subtly, he tried to float to relieve some of the pressure, but it didn’t seem to have any effect. The gravitational pull must counter against his powers somehow, which he supposed made sense. The whirlpool probably acted similarly to a medieval moat, meant to keep enemies away. Slowly, he began to pull himself up. Just as he reached the entrance he felt a sharp tug on the rope. He looked up to see that it had dwindled to a few strands. His eyes widened, and he sped up, but it was too late. The rope snapped.

“STEVEN!” The gems called out. Quickly, he grabbed onto the ledge of the window. The tugging sensation only got worse and he had to grasp the rock as hard as he could. Using as much strength as he could, he pulled himself up, scaling the smooth Spire walls. He finally managed to pull his body inside the temple, his body aching from the effort. A few seconds later, Amethyst dropped down next to him, carrying Pearl and Garnet in her arms. Immediately Pearl jumped out of her arms and ran to him.

“Steven! Are you injured? Are you ok?” She asked, checking him over for wounds. He pushed er away with a forced chuckle.

“I’m fine, really it wasn’t that hard to climb back up.” He stood up, as if to prove he was unharmed. Pearl still seemed worried, but she didn’t comment further.

The four of them continued on further into the Spire. Things seemed to sail by relatively easy after that. It was mainly walking up flights of stairs and the Bagel sandwiches still worked on the crystal shrimp, allowing them to move past safely. They were about to enter the room just before the final set of stairs, which he knew was the river. Garnet had managed to solve the problem last time, but this time he was determined to get everything right. They entered the room and Steven stopped just before the cracked wall, which broke open on cue, sending a rapid current through the floor and out of the tower. He stood next to the gems, waiting until one of them prompted him into action. Garnet stepped back slightly, staring ahead. Steven knew that Garnet wasn’t incredibly talkative when he was younger, but she’d been almost completely silent on the mission. In fact, he couldn’t remember her speaking to him more than five times since he’d arrived. Was something wrong? He’d have to confront her later to see if he could help her with whatever was bothering her.

“How can we get across?” Pearl asked. Steven smiled, setting aside his thoughts on Garnet for a second.

“I could use my shield like a bridge?” He suggested.

“Are you sure you can create a shield that big and for that long?” Pearl questioned. He nodded and summoned a shield big enough to cover the river. He wasn’t really paying attention, some of his focus again drifting to Garnet. Even from behind her glasses Steven knew she was staring at him. It was starting to make him nervous.

“What’s with this design?” Amethyst asked. He turned to look at Amethyst questioningly, only to tense as he saw the shield. Instead of the circular shield engraved with thorns like he expected, it was a dark pink hexagon, similar to the one he used in his fight against Jasper. Quickly, the shield evaporated and he replaced it with his regular one, all while panicking internally. He thought he’d gotten a better handle on his powers, but that clearly wasn’t true! Gem shards fell in his mind, and he almost wanted to throw up. Why were these thoughts hitting him now? Steven ran across the shield and up the stairs, forcing the gems to follow after him.

The top of the spire was exactly like he remembered it too, the moonlight shining down towards the pedestal in the centre, with the circular roof crumbling away at the edges. He felt anxious, being back up here, almost like he had to tread lightly in case everything would fall apart around him. The gems ran after him. From the look in their eyes, it was clear that they wanted to confront him about something, but he knew there wasn’t much time. He was so close, he wouldn’t fail this time. Quietly, he headed towards the alter in the centre, clutching his satchel tightly. He unzipped the bun pocket and pulled out the small statue. The moon slowly moved towards the centre, and Steven carefully laid the artefact down before stepping back. The gems and him watched with baited breath as the moonlight hit the alter, causing it to light up. The statue began to float in mid air, glowing with a bright light. It exploded into a thousand pieces, sending a blast of white everywhere. Steven had to close his eyes from the intensity of the blast. For a second, all that he could think was that it hadn’t worked again. That despite trying, he was doomed to fail like he had before.

And then he opened his eyes. The roof of the sea spire didn’t shake and begin to fall apart. Instead, it glowed a dazzling blue. The moss and algae that had collected there were wiped clean and the cracks had been sealed shut, leaving a perfect surface. Pearl gasped and the three of them slowly headed back inside. Every surface was pristine and perfect, shining in a new and beautiful light. He could see his reflection in the floor beneath his feet. It almost looked like he was stood amongst a thousand shining stars. They made their way back through the tower. Every statue had been repaired, every monument had been fixed, every speck of dust was gone. The crystal shrimp were gone, seemingly destroyed in the cleansing blast. The cliff he’d jumped from before now held a strong glass bridge, tinted in various shades of blue. He walked over the bridge and stared up at the tower. It was… Breath-taking. Everything shone so brightly and looked so perfect, it was as if the Sea Spire had been completely re-made. Even the water below seemed to have calmed down. Gone was the angry rushing of the crashing waterfalls, instead it was replaced with a low and satisfying noise, one that reminded him of the ocean. He took in the sights and the sounds that surrounded him and he smiled brightly. That smile turned into laughter, which dissolved into tears. He held himself closely as he looked up at the Lunar Sea Spire. He’d... He’d really done it. He’d really helped. The gems walked out of the spire and he wiped away his tears, his happy smile returning once again. Finally, it seemed like things were looking up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: Can you please stop putting me through trauma?  
> Me: ,,,  
> Me: Ok, you can have a little catharsis,,, as a treat


	6. Rose tinted glasses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven wakes up from an unsettling dream, but everything is fine... Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dream sequences are hARD

The sky was a dark pink, littered with white clouds and yellow stars. He ran up a spiral staircase that lead to nowhere and stretched on forever, without ever looking back. He knew tat the stairs were crumbling behind him, he couldn't afford to stop. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. The stairs disappeared and he began to fall through the endless sky. He was plummeting towards the ground at an alarming pace. He curled up into a ball as he fell into a cloud. He stopped falling, floating in the middle of the white space. The clouds shifted and squirmed, filling his ears with a deep buzzing noise. He screwed his eyes shut as the buzzing shifted into the fluttering of wings. He could feel the insects inside his gem, pounding against it to be let out. A voice commanded him to open his eyes, and he did. It was raining now, specks of orange crashing onto the ground all around him. One fell into his hand and he looked at it to reveal that instead of a raindrop, he held a sharp orange shard. He threw it away in fear.The ground beneath the shard pulsated and burst forward, melding into a mess of white light before scattering into a thousand butterflies. They flew towards him, their sharp wings cutting into his skin and into his mind. He pushed back and the cloud departed, exploding in a burst of pink light the butterflies reformed. They shifted into a figure much larger than himself. He collapsed to his knees as the butterflies took the figure of pink diamond. She laughed at him, the voice echoing through his mind. He could feel the sky crack underneath him. They shifted again, becoming smaller until they resembled Rose Quartz. Her gem remained the same, never shifting from the diamond. His mother didn’t laugh, simply stared at him. She closed her eyes and wept a single blue butterfly. They shifted again, flying and swarming and melting together into something much worse. Steven stepped back in terror as he stared at an exact replica of himself. The sky broke, plunging him into darkness.

Steven woke up gasping for air. He looked around the room, clutching the sheets beneath his fingers tightly. He’d sunk into the mattress so much that it was almost surrounding him. He sat up, eyes flickering around the room as he adjusted back into the real world. It was just a dream, he was ok, he’d be ok. The more he woke up, the more aware he became of his surroundings. He was glowing bright pink, his energy casting a shade of colour to his bedsheets and the floor. The TV was hissing quietly and he looked over to see a steady stream of static. Had the TV projected his dream again? He immediately started to panic. What if the gems saw? How could he explain that? Suddenly the TV screen cracked and shattered, sending glass flying in all directions. Steven started breathing heavily, clutching his hair as he tried to calm himself down.

After five minutes of just sitting and breathing, he finally felt confident enough to move out of bed. The pink tinge to his skin had faded almost completely and his heartbeat had slowed to its regular pace. He watched his step as he got out of bed and collected a broom to take care of all of the broken glass. Luckily, the gems were out. He knew that if Pearl was to see him collecting broken glass she’d flock around him like a frightened bird. Next, he made himself some breakfast. He had to settle for sugary cereal instead of his morning protein shake. He was too concerned about the gems being suspicious if he suddenly changed his diet to do anything. He only had a small bowl anyway so it didn’t really matter. After that he got changed. It didn’t really make a difference, going from his too small pyjamas into his too small clothes, but it’s not like he could just keep wearing them all day. Finally, he headed to the bathroom to clean his face.

There was something relaxing about feeling the cool water hit his face, almost like it helped ground him to reality. After such a stressful dream, a moment of reprieve was sorely needed. He placed the towel on the sink and turned to look himself in the mirror. He stumbled back at what he saw. Quickly, he forced his eyes shut and breathed in deeply. He focused on calming his mind, and then reluctantly opened his eyes once more. His reflection frowned. Though his skin was his normal colour, he was more worried about his left eye. His right eye looked completely normal, but his left eye had shifted shape. The iris had changed from dark brown to a bright, glowing pink, and the pupil was no longer a black circle, but a white diamond.

He stood in front of the mirror for at least 20 minutes, trying to turn his eye back to normal. He tried thinking calming thoughts, he tried thinking positively, he’d even tried shape-shifting it back manually, but nothing worked.He had no idea what had caused it or how to fix it, but he knew one thing. He couldn’t let the gems see. Steven raced out of the bathroom and threw the closet open. He didn’t know what he was looking for- an eye-patch, a really weird misshapen hat, some bandages, a pair of contacts- just anything that he could use to hide his eye. Finally, he found something, and it was just in time. He heard the warp pad activate and he quickly covered his eye before shutting the cupboard door.

“Oh Steven! Good you’re in!” Pearl addressed him. Steven span around with a smile.

“We wanted to talk to you about…” She trailed off, finally paying attention to what he was wearing.

“Why are you wearing those?” She asked, immediately switching from whatever she had on her mind.

“Wearing what?” He responded with a shrug. The gems stared at him, unblinking.

“Oh these?” He pointed to the pink circular sunglasses that covered his eyes, as if he’d only just noticed them. He knew that the gems hadn’t bought his act, but playing dumb would make him seem more child-like. Or at least, he hoped so. Plus, stalling had given him time to think of a good excuse.

“I wanted to look cool… Like Garnet!” He pointed towards the stoic gem with a wide smile. Yeah, that sounded like something a younger version of himself would say. He used to idolise the gems so much, it was crazy. Now he had a much more realistic view on them. He knew all their flaws and strengths so he could see them in a more equal light. Pearl looked towards Garnet quietly with a questioning look. Garnet stared at Steven and nodded slightly, crossing her arms. He watched the exchange quietly. What was so important that they had to keep a private conversation? It was clearly something involving the three gems, since Amethyst hadn’t even attempted to make fun of his ridiculous glasses yet. Garnet stepped forward.

“Steven-” The door to the beach house slammed open with force and a figure ran inside. The gems pulled out their weapons as the person stepped into the middle of the room, looking around for something…Or someone. They turned, and their eyes locked with Steven's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gems: Ok, finally there's no interruptions, so we can talk  
> ???: Hey what's up  
> The gems: oh come oN


	7. The visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious figure slammed through the door to Steven's house, who could it possibly be???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Congratulations to all of the people in the comments who got it right! I mean, I wasn't trying to hide it or anything but I'm still impressed!

“Steven!” Without warning he was pulled into a tight hug. He didn’t hesitate for a second before returning the hug, letting the warmth run through his body.

“Connie!” He spoke with the most enthusiasm that he had with days. He pulled away to see Connie- his Connie- staring back at him. She had a mixture of joy and concern across her face. The two embraced again. Steven grasped at Connie’s jacket, unwilling to let go.  
“How did you get here?” He asked once they finally parted. She opened her mouth, ready to explain, when they heard the sound of a throat clearing behind them. They turned to face the gems. They were still holding out their weapons, although they looked more confused than wary. “Steven, who’s your friend?” Pearl asked, glancing between the two of them. He suddenly remembered where he was and who he was talking to. He linked arms with Connie and slowly began backing towards the front door.

“I’ll tell you later, I’ve got to go!” Connie shared a glance with him, moving in sync. It was clear that she had a question, but at least she was going along with him.

“Steven!” Before Pearl could say any-more, he was already out the door and racing down the stairs, pulling Connie with him.

The two of them only stopped when they’d entered the city, sitting side by side on a bench on the board-walk. Almost as soon as they were sat down Connie turned to him.  
“You were acting really strange around the gems.” She pointed out. He looked away from her and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.  
“They don’t know that I’m from the future… We’re in the past by the way, in case you didn’t know.” She sighed.  
“Yeah, I figured it out when I arrived a few days ago.” Steven looked towards her with a small frown. She’d been here a few days and she hadn’t attempted to meet with him? Then again, he had been avoiding going to the beach, just in case he ran into a younger version of Connie. He guessed that she assumed the same thing. That it was just her in the past. It still hurt though.

“What happened?” He asked. He knew that if he didn’t keep up the questioning, she’d eventually turn it back to him, and he really didn’t know how to explain himself. After all, she’d probably spent the past few days trying to find a way back to the future, while he’d been purposely changing the past to fix the mistakes he’d made.  
“It all started in our times. You hadn’t called me in a while, so I headed to your place to see why. When I got there, Pearl told me you’d been missing for two weeks.”  
“Two weeks!?” He interrupted her story with his exclamation and immediately felt sheepish. He wasn’t sure if time was moving faster than the future or something, but that didn’t make any sense, right? Steven had only been stuck in the past for a week. He knew that before that he’d spent 3 days in the woods with Jasper, but that still didn’t account for the other 4 days. He’d assumed that the younger version of himself had woken up in the updated beach house like he did, but was he wrong? If his past self wasn’t in the future then where was he? 

“Yeah. So I searched in every place that I could think of- we all did. Lapis even went to Homeworld to check but there was no sign of you. Nobody knew where you were.” She looked down at the ground.  
“Amethyst said that she even went up to Jasper’s cave-” Connie was interrupted by a sudden burst of pink light. The wood underneath the bench splintered as Steven stood up.  
“SHE DID WHAT??” He clutched his chest, panicking. He could picture Amethyst walking up the hill, heading towards Jasper’s home. He could picture her notice the wreckage, the broken trees and dismantled rocks. He could picture her see a glint of orange poking through the mud. He could picture her walking over in curiosity before her eyes widened in horror as she realised what it was. He could picture her running over and grasping for the broken gem-shard of her sudo-sister as tears ran down her face. He could see it all run through his mind in crystal clear vision. A voice echoed through his ears, which he distantly recognised as Connie’s. he focused on the sound, slowly bringing himself to reality once more.  
“Steven are you ok?” She asked worryingly, holding his arm in a tight grip. He nodded.   
“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Please continue.” He reassured, sitting back on the bench. Connie glanced at him for a long moment before reluctantly continuing her story.

“Amethyst…” She paused again, her eyes flickering to Steven. He nodded with a weak smile.  
“Amethyst checked Jasper’s cave but she couldn’t find her anywhere. We thought that the two of you had run away together for some reason.” He relaxed after hearing that. At least Amethyst hadn’t found Jasper yet… Although he still felt incredibly guilty. Were the shards just lying there in the mud? What if they’d been washed away by the rain? If they had, there’d be no chance of ever finding every piece. Jasper would never be able to be saved, even if it was possible. He’d shattered her. And nobody would ever know. How awful was that?

“The next morning I woke up in the back of my parents car. I was really confused because we were driving down the highway somewhere, and I knew we hadn’t planned to leave town at any point in the near future. When I asked where we were they said we were heading towards Beach City, which just confused me even more.” Oh. At least that explained why Connie hadn’t immediately come to see him. She literally couldn’t because she was on the road.  
“I figured it out a few minutes later when my mom started freaking out about my hair and asking me where my glasses were. At first I thought it was some sort of joke but when we stopped at a gas station I picked up a newspaper that had the date on it.” She explained. At least she’d figured it out in a better way, he’d almost broken down in the Big Donut when he first realised what was going on.

“As soon as I arrived in Beach city I ran straight to the temple. I figured that you must’ve been sent backwards before me, along with Jasper. Although, I guess she’s kind of trapped on Homeworld right now.” Steven tried to smile, although it mostly came off as a grimace. He knew that wasn’t the truth.   
“Yeah… I guess so.”   
  
“Why didn’t you tell the gems?” Connie asked.  
“You didn’t tell your parents.” He shot back defensively. She frowned.  
“It’s weird to not be able to see your eyes. What’s with the sunglasses anyway?” She asked lightly, clearly trying to make small talk. It didn’t help to relieve the tension. If anything, this line of questioning was worse.  
“It’s sunny.” He said simply, shrugging. She squinted at him.  
“You were wearing them inside too.” She pointed out. He threw his hands in the air.  
“Alright, you got me. I just wanted to wear these cool sunglasses that I found!” She snickered, nudging his shoulder.  
“No amount of cool sunglasses will help you pull off that outfit.” She gestured down to his clothes with a smirk. He popped out the collar of his jacket, as if to show her how cool it really was. She didn’t look impressed.  
“I had to work with what I had!” She rolled her eyes.  
“Why didn’t you just buy new clothes like I did, dummy?” She gestured down to her own outfit- a simple blue button up shirt with black trousers and red trainers.  
“I…” Steven deflated.  
“Didn’t think of that.” He admitted. Connie’s snickering turned into full on laughter and Steven joined in. The two of them sat together on the bench, laughing as if they really were kids again. Steven could feel his heart warm from the interaction. He’d missed this. 

Of course, nothing could last forever. Out of nowhere a spear flew towards the bench, piercing it straight in the middle. Steven and Connie leapt to opposite sides, standing defensively. The spear vanished from where it landed, but Steven could still recognise it from anywhere. It was Pearl’s. What was going on? Suddenly a rope gathered around his waist and he was tugged backwards. He looked down to see the familiar design of Amethyst’s whip. Her too? What were they doing? Steven pushed the rope away from him by summoning a shield and leapt backwards. The gems landed on the opposite ends of the board walk. They had a familiar look in their eyes. One of determination and passion. They were tensed, ready for a fight. The only thing confusing him was the fact that those glares were directed at him.  
“Guys? What’s going on?” He questioned.   
“I don’t know what you are but you’re not Steven!” Garnet yelled at him, her fists clenched. 

Connie ran to the duffel bag that she’d left besides the bench and pulled out a smooth silver sword. She ran to Steven’s side, standing next to him protectively.  
“Where did you get a sword in a few days?” He asked. He hadn’t even changed his outfit! How was she so much better than he was at this stuff?  
“We stopped by a medieval store on the way into town and I convinced my dad to buy it for me! A more important question is why are the gems attacking us?”  
“I don’t know!” He answered desperately. The gems advanced. Connie blocked Pearl by standing in front of her path and swinging her sword, forcing her to retaliate with a swing of her own. Amethyst ran at Steven, cracking her whip at him. He managed to dodge out of the way but Garnet was behind him. She hit him into the ground, causing him to collapse. The sunglasses fell from his faced and cracked on the ground. He didn’t have a chance to reach for them before he was pulled off of the ground by his leg. Amethyst used her whip and flung him into the air as high as she could. Instantly he began floating. He threw shields at the ground close to Connie as Garnet advanced, causing her to jump back. He landed on the ground and ran towards Connie. Pearl swung her sword once more, but she was blocked by the sudden appearance of a bubble. It surrounded both Connie and Steven, leaving them safe from harm.

Garnet pounded her fist against the bubble, but there was no damage.   
“WHAT THE FUCK GUYS?” He yelled. He covered his mouth instantly, wincing. He didn’t really like swearing much, but he was just so confused an overwhelmed right now, he had no idea what was going on. Pearl stared at him, her hands covering her mouth.   
“Steven… your eye!” Connie said. He looked towards the broken glasses and quickly covered his left eye, but he knew the damage had been done. He lowered his hands in defeat. The gems continued to stare at him. Pearl was struggling against her own hands, her eyes filled with sadness and regret. Garnet was just angry, staring right through him. Amethyst seemed confused and torn, looking between the gems and him. He didn’t understand why the gems were being aggressive towards him… Things were going so well! How had he screwed up already? Whatever the problem was, he needed to fix it. And fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gems: Steven we need to talk  
> Steven: No  
> The gems: *get out their weapons* Ok
> 
> Also yes!! Steven S w o r e *Gasp*


	8. Coming clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven and Connie are trapped in a bubble as a dangerous threat looms over them. The threat of the Crystal Gems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Steven ever find out why the gems are suddenly attacking him? Tune in to find out!

“Why are you guys attacking him? He’s on your side!” Connie yelled. The two of them were still standing inside his bubble, with one gem placed at certain angles so that they couldn’t roll past.

“He” Garnet started, using air-quotes around her words.

“Is not Steven.” She finished. Steven put a hand through his hair, resisting the urge to just pull it all out.

“What do you mean? Just look at him!” She gestured to Steven. He waved his hand awkwardly and smiled weakly. Garnet looked past Connie and to Steven. They stood at an impasse for a few seconds before she turned to the gems.

“Don’t trust her, she’d the same as him.” She finally aid. Connie threw up her arms in frustration.

“What does that even mean?” She questioned in annoyance.

“Garnet…” Pearl reached out to her, only to find her mouth clamped shut by her own hands. She looked torn between the two of them. She made eye contact with Steven desperately looking for something. He just didn’t know what.

“Are you sure that’s not really Steven? I mean sure he’s been acting weird for the last few days, but he still cares! I mean, all he’s been doing is helping us with our missions!” Amethyst butted in. Steven stepped back, the bubble moving back slightly.

“Wait… You guys think I’m- that I’m what, some kind of imposter?” He stuttered through his sentence. How had he managed to fail so quickly? He thought he’d gotten better at hiding the truth! He’d managed to keep a lot of things from the gems in his times. Or did they know? Did they just pretend not to know for his sake? How many of his secrets were actually common knowledge? Connie put an arm of his shoulder, grounding him before he could spiral further into his thoughts.

“Steven, we should tell them the truth.” She said, staring at him pleadingly.

“But…” He trailed off. He really couldn’t think of any other way out of this. He really hadn’t wanted to tell them but… He had no choice. He turned to the crystal gems and took a deep breath.

“The truth is… I’m not Steven.” Amethyst stepped back, her grasp on her whip[ tightening at the words.

“Well, at least, I’m not the Steven you’re used to…” He scratched the back of his neck.

“I’m- well, we actually…” He gestured to Connie. The stares on him made him feel so much smaller than he was. Why was this so hard?

“We’re from the future.” He finally revealed. Amethyst’s mouth opened wide and her whip disappeared.

“Whaaaaaaat?”

Amethyst at least appeared to have calmed down at his revelation, and Pearl had seemed to reluctant to fight the moment she’d seen his diamond shaped eye, but Garnet still didn’t look convinced. She stood in front of the bubble, stoic as ever, without saying a single word. He moved so that he was standing in front of her.

“Garnet please, it really is me!” He pointed to the gemstone that sat in the centre of his stomach.

“How could I fake this?” He asked desperately. There was still know response.

“Or… How, how would I know about Ruby and Sapphire? Or remember all the fun times we had together?” He kept trying. He turned to Pearl and Amethyst.

“Or how would I know that Amethyst is the best at shape-shifting? Or that she really likes to eat food!” Amethyst completely dropped her guard as he addressed him.

“Or… or how Pearl can’t stand things that aren’t symmetrical! Or that she can sword-fight!” Pearl stepped closer to the bubble reaching out for him.

“And…” He clutched his shirt and then the bubble shrunk until it only remained around Connie. He as out in the open, with nothing to shield him.

“And how would I know that… You would never try to hurt me.” He stepped towards Garnet and outstretched his arms with a weak smile, his eyes closed. Suddenly, he felt a pair of arms around him. He opened his eyes to see Garnet standing there with his hands around his waist.

“Of course… Of course it’s you.” She said. His eyes shined with tears as he returned the hug. Amethyst and Pearl joined in too, the four of them embracing in the middle of the board-walk.

When they pulled away, Steven turned to Connie, who was still standing in the bubble. She had a wide smile on her face from watching the whole scene.

“Sorry!” He quickly popped the bubble and she ran over, hugging him tightly. He laughed lightly as he returned it. He was getting a lot of hugs today! She pulled away with a smile.

“That’s ok, I didn’t want to ruin your moment.” Amethyst walked over, clearly not feeling the same way. She slapped an arm on Steven’s back with a smirk.

“So who’s your friend?” She asked, wiggling her eyebrows. He tried not to blush in embarrassed, mostly failing.

“This is Connie! She’s also from the future.” He introduced. Connie waved at Amethyst politely.

“You got big! And you got new powers!” Amethyst said enthusiastically. He laughed awkwardly.

“Yeah, the bubble is one of them, but I can also heal gems and float.”

“What about your eye? Is that one of your powers too?” She asked as the other gems walked over.

“Oh this?” He gestured to his left eye and smiled widely.

“This is just a really bad case of…”

“Steven, no.” Connie protested.

“Pink-eye.” He pulled a dorky face, looking around at his audience. Everyone blinked slowly, with no reaction.

“Well, it’s definitely still Steven.” Pearl chimed in. Garnet ruffled his hair slightly, which he tried to duck out of.

“I’m seventeen you know!” He protested.

“You’re never too old for affection.” Garnet countered. He sighed and slouched while Connie pretended not to laugh at his situation.

“Let’s go back to the temple, there’s a lot to discuss.” Garnet said. Steven nodded.

“Right.” Connie quickly placed her sword back into her bag and they all headed towards the temple. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: Guys, what the fuck, c'mon  
> Garnet: ,,,  
> Steven: *says a horrible pun*  
> Garnet: Ok, he's telling the truth


	9. Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie plays catch-up with the gems and finds out what Steven has been doing while stuck in the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally beginning to open that good ol' chest of secrets!

Everyone gathered on the large L-Shaped couch, looking towards each-other. There was still a static tension hanging in the air, but it was nowhere near as bad as it was on the board-walk. It was oddly silent, which was something Steven was having trouble reacting to. In his time, the gems were always so busy doing stuff that he was often left with a silent, empty house. However, in the week he’d been here the gems had been around almost constantly. He’d gotten used to the low chatter of the gems, of seeing them in the morning. He’d gotten used to them being there again. It was strange, he felt so alone right now, even though he was surrounded by his friends. Or was he? The gems were still his family, but they didn’t really know him like he was right now. He’d seen them grow but they hadn’t seen them grow. And he was happy that he wasn’t the only person in the past any more but Connie… brought up painful memories. He was still trying to work through his feelings and it was just weird to be around her. She didn’t seem to feel the same, she’d literally embraced him with open arms. Was it just him? Was he overacting? He knew that now wasn’t the time to be thinking these things, but it didn’t stop him anyway.

“So why did you guys think Steven was an imposter in the first place?” Connie asked.

“It was kind of little stuff you know? I mean, first he had this weird growth spurt overnight.” She shape-shifted into the younger version of himself before changing it into his current appearance. Steven chuckled.

“Yeah, that was when I first got here, so not a growth spurt.” He cleared up. Pearl nodded, picking up where Amethyst had left off.

“After that, he was just so… not Steven. He was more reserved and polite and you almost never asked to spend time with us! We thought you were upset about something at first, but Garnet was who put it all together.” She explained. His heart sunk. He’d really thought that he was doing a good job of being that peppy, happy younger version of himself. After all, he was happier now, right? He was finally helping to fix problems again! He was needed! This is what he’d wanted! So why did it all feel… flat? Was there something wrong with him? Could anything make him happy any-more?

“Garnet?” Connie asked. Garnet lifted her glasses slightly.

“When Steven appeared here a week ago my future vision no longer worked for him. I couldn’t see anything around him or anything he interacted with. It was only after the sea spire did I truly suspect that this wasn’t our Steven.”

“What happened at the Sea Spire?” Connie asked. Steven looked away nervously.

“I summoned a shield that the gems hadn’t seen before…”He answered. Garnet nodded.

“Oh, but we should’ve known it was him! He did such a good job, he even saved the Sea Spire in the end! Nobody but Steven would’ve been able to do that!” Connie squinted at Pearl, as if thinking about something and Steven sank further into the couch.

“But… Steven told me that…” She whirled around to Steven suddenly.

“STEVEN! Did you change history?” Connie yelled. He slowly shrugged.

“Maybe…” She rubbed a hand over her face in exasperation. She looked over to the gems.

“Could we have some space?” She asked politely. Garnet nodded and lead Amethyst and Pearl back into the temple. He stared down at his shoes.

“Did you not learn anything from Forward to the Past?”

“I learned that having a hover-board would be cool?” He joked. Connie sighed. Steven looked down at his hands, suddenly self-concious. What if… Him being here really was messing with the time-line? What if he was making the future worse just by being here?

“I know it’s dangerous but… I just can’t let things stay the same way. Not when I know that I can help!” He clenched his fists together at his sides.

“Bismuth is trapped in a bubble right now, stored away in Lion’s mane for something she didn’t understand was wrong! Lapis is still trapped in a mirror with a cracked gem for something she didn’t do!” He bean to glow a soft pink, but he didn’t even care. He needed to say this.

“Peridot still thinks that the Diamonds are perfect and that the Earth is useless! Spinel is still waiting in Pink’s garden for someone that is never going to come back for her!” He clutched his hair tightly, desperately trying to ground himself.

“The gems don’t even know about mom!” He yelled. The glass in the window cracked, leaving deep marks in the glass. Steven gripped his arm tightly and lowered his voice.

“If I just let things play out exactly the same…” He looked up, past Connie and to the painting of his mom. Connie kept her eyes at him, though she knew what he was looking at.

“I’d be no better than her.” He finished quietly, scrubbing the tears from his eyes. Connie rushed over and pulled him into a tight hug.

“You’re right. I’m sorry, we should try to help them as much as we can while we’re here.” He melted into her touch.

“Thank you.” He still didn’t feel completely better but… There was a chance, that maybe, he really could make a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: *lies to the gems*  
> Rose: *lies to the gems*  
> Steven: Wait, hang on-


	10. Ethical thinking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven shares his to do list with Connie, but she doesn't agree with everything...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THAT'S RIGHT BOYS I'M STILL ALIVE! I got REALLY into Portal again and also life stuff got in the way but goddamnit I wanted to w r I t e so Finally! It's only been what,,, a whole month???

After talking to the gems for a while, Steven has finally managed to slip away from them with Connie, so that they could plan their next moves together.

“So did you make a list of everything you wanted to change?” Connie asked as they walked along the board-walk. He looked around, double checking that no-one was following him. The surprise attack from the gems had startled him pretty badly, but he was probably being a little to paranoid. It was better to be safe the sorry. After he was sure that he was alone, he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a carefully folded note, passing it to Connie.

“I definitely want to focus on the big stuff first. You know, Lapis, Bismuth and Spinel.” He said as she read over the list. She nodded and handed it back to him when she was done.

“That makes sense. How are you going to do it?” She questioned.

“I think the best idea is to retrieve them one by one. I thought I could release Lapis in my mom’s room- that way she won’t try to run away or attack us immediately- and we can talk it out with her instead of fighting.” Connie hummed in approval.

“That way you avoid the ocean going missing and Lapis fleeing to home-world, right?”

“Right.” He confirmed.

“When Lapis is settled in we’ll release Bismuth. I think the reason she attacked me was because she thought I was my mom so I really need to convince her that I’m not this time around. Maybe if I never go with her to the braking point she won’t attack?”

“Yeah, it’d be better to skip that experience. I can’t imagine how awful it would feel to shatter a gem.” Connie shuddered. A glint of orange rained down in front of him and he stared at the path with a blank face.

“...Yeah.” He agreed quietly.

“What about Peridot and Spinel?” Connie asked, quickly moving on from the subject.

“I’m gonna meet Peridot at the Galaxy Warp alone this time and tell her that we know about her plans and if she wants to stop us she’ll have to come fight us herself.” Connie paused.

“Wait, you’re actively going to provoke her?” She questioned.

“At first I just thought about poofing her and talking to her that way, but then she’d never bring Jasper. I really want to try help her too.” He gripped his shirt tightly. Connie rested a hand on his shoulder and his grip relaxed slightly. He looked at her to see a reassuring smile.

“It’s ok, I get it, you don’t have to explain.” She said. He smiled gratefully, glad that Connie could understand him so easily.

“For Spinel, I was thinking we could use one of the robots Peridot will send to fix one of the Warp pads and then go to the garden for her, but that’ll be after I tell the gems that my mom is Pink Diamond.” he continued. Connie nodded slowly and looked away. Her hand started tapping against her side, a clear sign that she was thinking about something.

“What is it?” He asked.

She sighed and walked onto the beach. Steven followed her curiously, his heart sinking with every step they took. He had a feeling that whatever Connie was going to say, he wouldn’t like.

Connie turned to him, a steely determination in her eyes. She wasn’t they type of person to dance around a subject, often tackling it on head first, and it looked like it was the same for right now.

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to tell the gems so soon?” If he was smiling, it would’ve fallen into a hurt and confused look.

“What do you mean?” He asked slowly.

“I mean… At this point in time, the gems haven’t really gotten over your mom’s death you know? What if they can’t handle it?” Connie questioned. Steven paused. He thought back to some of his earliest memories as a Crystal Gems.

He thought of all the grief and all of the issues he’d helped them work through up to the point that they found out about his mom. They had grown a lot. Currently, Pearl and Amethyst couldn’t stand to be in the same room as each-other, Garnet was still a stoic lack of personality, Amethyst sill had heavy self worth issues and Pearl was still grieving for his mom. When he originally told Garnet and Amethyst, Garnet had fallen apart over it, but she’d already been through so much and learned and grown that she’d been able to take it in stride and continue on. Would she react like that now? What if she fell apart, but this time, she didn’t come back together?

And what about Amethyst? She’d handled everything so maturely. Of course, she was hurt, but she didn’t push her issues onto Steven, she worked through her all of her feelings and focused on what was important in that moment. It took a lot of talking and bonding for her to grow as much as she did. If she found out now, she was more likely to yell and deny the truth. She’d be devastated.

Of course, Pearl already knew, but he felt like even that would be different now. She’d opened up to Steven originally because she trusted him and respected him to be able to handle the information. She’d matured enough to realise that his mom made mistakes like everyone else, and she was there to help everyone through it. Right now, Pearl still saw his mom as a perfect figure who could do no wrong. She still held a grudge against his dad, she still looked at him as an extension of his mom and not his own person. Connie was right, if he told the gems now, they might not recover. But…

“If… If I don’t tell them, won’t I be just like her?” All his mom ever did was keep secrets from the gems, it was one of the man problems he’d had to fix originally, and since he’d arrived, hat’s all he’d been doing. Hiding away, acting like he knew the best, like the gems couldn’t cope with the information. He’d felt so relieved when they found out the truth, so much so that he regretted hiding it in the first place. Would he regret this too? Connie walked over and pulled him in closely.

“Steven, you don’t have to rush ok? We won’t solve every problem immediately and that’s ok. Everything will work out in the future.” She reassured. He melted into her grip, filled with a strong sense of care and thankfulness. She was right, it was ok. He was ok. He was ok, being close to her. He was safe here. He knew she felt safe too. They always felt safe when they were together. As easily as coming home, two souls became once. Stevonnie looked down at themselves, holding onto their own skin instead of onto someone else’s. Connie’s blue shirt hung underneath Steven’s, and the large ratty jacket hand shrunk to a normal size. Blue cuffed jeans were rolled up at their knees, and two pairs of shoes remained on the beach, each pair too small for them now. They brushed a strand of hair out of their face and looked out at the glistening blue sea, catching a glimpse of their eyes in the clear water. Surprisingly, their right eye was a soft glowing pink shaped like a diamond, something they must have picked up from Steven. They hadn’t done this since the night at the roller rink, but it didn’t feel awkward or stinted. It felt natural. They felt complete, and they felt loved, just standing on the beach. Together, but alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven: *Lies and keeps things from the gems*  
> Connie: I think you should keep something from the gems  
> Steven: Now hold on a second
> 
> Also Stevonnie woooo!! Stevonnie for me has always about the two of them just being in sync and Together so I just liked the idea of them re-connecting like this in the past

**Author's Note:**

> Steven: Man things used to be so much easier  
> Steven: *gets sent back to the Very Start*   
> Steven: Wait no this isn't what I meant


End file.
